Up & Down

by Azirah Azhar

Read Vivy’s latest post and I’m totally agree with what she wrote.

Back then (since my degree time), I was (and still am) trying my best to be positive even sometimes I failed. However, nowadays I realised that somehow I am not as positive as I am before.

I am truly grateful to have a very wonderful family. A very supportive father, caring mother and perfect brother. Everything is good until I was in high school where most of people there are against me, because of who I am. Being in the highest post for a student doesn’t make me looks good enough to them, except for few people who support me. Thank you for that. Things getting worst when I didn’t score well in my SPM. Since then, I left, never look back and continue my life.

Went to matriculation college for a year. Decided to not being like how I did during high school, only focus to get good grades. Had tough (pack schedule and away from home) but wonderful life there with such great friends (still bff to Shaliha), and Alhamdullilah I did quite well in my exams, make me eligible to pursue my degree in USM.

Did my degree, masters, work for few months and doing Ph.D, I still feel good until last year, the negative vibes came again and it’s worst than before. Eventhough I’m currently move on (around 95% I guess) but somehow when I was alone (sometimes) those things came across my mind. It is not good especially when I bump into or hear about those #%!%#! . Sometimes I am okay, sometimes I am not. Once, twice maybe okay.

How I wish I can talk to Bahirah the way when she was doing her intern. How I wish my bebi boys are here always to make me forget those negative vibes. How I wish C&W are not busy and can look at me and say “You don’t have to say anything. We know” They really know.

Well, time passes and the only thing I can do now is to be a better me, a more positive me 🙂