Better

by Azirah Azhar

After 20 days of 2017, what I have done so far? Every new day, I always wish to become a better person and before this I was doing okay for few weeks then my momentum slope down. Sharp. Haha.

This year is different. I am still searching, confused and empty. As mentioned, Ph.D is a alone journey, but I am 100% sure we need to be productive too. Honestly, I miss being busy doing another job besides Ph.D, but I don’t want to be with a not supportive/energetic/positive team. My first job is always the best ever!

Another thing is, it is my second year and I need to push myself harder so that I can graduate on time. My supervisor warned me that I must graduate on time or she will knock my head heheh. My scholarship is another reason too.

While struggling with myself, unsatisfy with my progress plus I need to submit full paper for a conference by end of February, I am currently a member of a fitness centre. Hahaha blame my uni for not maintain the gym. Tell you, I need something else to keep myself busy but find out that I am not really organized. My time management is failed and I hate it so much.

Met my supervisor yesterday and I don’t know what on earth I told her that I think my objectives are too simple and not enough. So, I need to write and make changes again. It’s okay, I love it. It might give me strength to work harder and manage my life better.

About feeling empty, discussed about this with my pillow talk buddy. Agree with her, lack in spiritual is the main cause for feeling empty. Hope that overslept (5 pm to 1 am, then 3 am to 8 am) since yesterday will totally wake me up.

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